Other writings     Drawings gallery

The Real Atheist Nightmare

I have discovered the original worst nightmare of atheists. Before such a great mind as Chuck Missler shattered our fragile atheist delusions with a jar of peanut butter

…even before the magnificent intellect of Ray Comfort demonstrated the error of our heathen ways with a banana

…before then – from the depths of time preceding even Paley’s watch – the revered Lactantius, Christian author and advisor to the first Christain Emperor of Rome, provided us with incontrovertible, logically unassailable proof of God’s existence. Behold the true atheist’s worst nightmare; the nose!

But let us return to the works of God. […] And the nose, arising from the confines of [the summits of the eyebrows], and stretched out, as it were, with an equal ridge, at once serves to separate and to protect the two eyes. Below also, a not unbecoming swelling of the cheeks, gently rising after the similitude of hills, makes the eyes safer on every side; and it has been provided by the great Artificer, that if there shall happen to be a more violent blow, it may be repelled by the projecting parts. But the upper part of the nose as far as the middle has been made solid; but the lower part has been made with a softened cartilage annexed to it, that it may be pliant to the use of the fingers. – On the Workmanship of God

So there you have it. How could God possibly not exist if we’re able to pick our noses? I’m going straight to church. I am sorry, God, for being ungrateful for the snot you gave us.


Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit

2 Responses to “The Real Atheist Nightmare”

  1. Andy Hicks says:

    Yep, I’m just checking where my nearest church is now. Must be one in London somewhere…

  2. Maybe somewhere near Friars Court?

Leave a Reply