Rantings and Ravings

This is where I, from time to time, let my fingers do the talking:) my word is law on this site!

the mind of a drunk.

I will now try to think like a certain drunk that visited my bar last night..

Brace yourselves! Meaningless stupidity persues:

– What is this..? A door? There is a window in this door.. I see pool tables inside.. There must be served alcohol where one can play pool! I shall enter this building with grace and style.
Nope.. That didn’t work! At least there wasn’t a wet spot on the floor.. Stairs? I have to go upstairs for the bar? Damn..
Alright! We put one leg up and put it on the step and we put the other leg up and pt it on the step.. And we wiggle a bit about! 14 to go…*sigh*

- After a few minutes..
Heeeeyyyyy! Paaaaartyyyy!!!
I can’t make out who the hell is in here.. Well! Nobody has punched me in the face yet, so I guess we’re good!
Bartender! I want a j├Ągerbomb, vodka with coke and a schnaps!
Fuck.. Why am I seeing double.. Which one of the drinks is the real one?
Better order five more of each so I have better odds at grabbing an actual glass. Whoa! Hot babe alert! Better go get that!
No luck.. Wheres the toilet!?
Where am I..? Why is there puke all over the toilet and why am I in the ladies room?
I better whip out my toothbrush and toothpaste.. Yeah.. Thats it, so fresh so clean! Eeey.. There’s that chick again. Bartender! Beers, drinks and schnaps all round! Yeeeaah.. I ordered that baby!
Oh shit! Why do I still have my tooth brush in my mouth!? Not cool..
Move on to the next chick..
Who spilled her beer!?
Let me buy you five new ones!
Bar closed? No no no no! The bar is not closed! I am just about to order! Here comes the bartender.. Finally! Hey! Wait!
How did I get outside?
Better bang on the door for 45 consecutive minutes..
Im tired..
Cab! -

True fucking story, bro!

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